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Edward Snowden Reduced to Illegal Alien Status

Ed Snowden is getting squeezed by the U.S. and Russia.

Ed Snowden is getting squeezed by the U.S. and Russia.

It was amusing to see the Los Angeles Times afford Edward Snowden, on the run from the United States for leaking classified information, the status of an “undocumented” American.

No sooner had Russian news media reported that the undocumented American would be given papers to cross into Russia than his lawyer said Snowden’s attempt to clear passport control had been thwarted by “bureaucratic difficulties.” – LA Times

Is Snowden illegal or just undocumented?

It’s fortunate for Mr. Snowden that the L.A. Times along with other media have stopped using the term “illegal aliens” or “illegal immigrants” to describe non-citizens without proper documentation residing in a foreign country. That definition sounds very much like Snowden: foreign alien without documentation. But in the case of Snowden he is packing the documents, the top secret documents that he stole from the United States.

Man without a country

Ed Snowden’s righteous flight from justice has landed him in a “no man’s zone” in a country that has less temperament for human rights than the United States. I wonder if Ed has let the anxiety of being discovered and deported seep into his brain like the millions of undocumented Mexican immigrants living in the United States face every day. However, it is doubtful that Snowden’s Tea Party political philosophy allows him to feel much empathy for anyone other than himself.

Is Russia the safe house or the horror house?

Many have wondered why President Obama has kept such a low profile on the topic of the keeper of Top Secrets seeking asylum in Russia. Regardless of his motive, the President must be chuckling at the predicament young Snowden has wormed his way into has progress to undocumented status.

Siberian workers paradise for Snowden

As a Washington Post article points out, the life of an asylum grantee in Russia is far from any workers paradise. First off, Snowden doesn’t fancy himself as worker. He is more of the slacker generation that wants to be “The Man” while rebelling against “The Man.” Second, he does not come to Russia as a U.S. comrade embracing the communist manifesto and repressive Russian regime. Finally, Snowden is the very type of person the paranoid psyche of the illustrious KGB has tried to ferret out: traitors to the cause.

Snowden go home

President Putin has already pulled the welcome mat out from underneath Snowden. Putin has seen that he has already maximized the political foreign policy mileage out of the Snowden situation by rubbing the nose of the U.S. in our international data collection scandal. And on this point, Putin has shown himself to be far more shrewd and adept at western style hardball politics than I think many gave him credit for.

Will Snowden be able to escape from Russia?

If Snowden is allowed to stay in Russia, the “Un-American” U.S. data collection that Snowden has sought to reveal and stop, will be mild compared to what the KGB will subject him with. After all, if Snowden can betray the land of milk and honey of the United States, he would be twice as quick to leak any Russian surveillance techniques as well. I think that Snowden’s Siberian internet service will be spotty at best and of such low-speed he will consider defecting to Alaska. For a man who has confessed he can’t live without his computer, Snowden will be surprised at the “blocks” Russia might put on his internet access.

Undocumented immigrants appreciate a safe U.S.

Could Snowden last a day working in the fields like so many U.S. undocumented immigrants?

The NSA data collection sucks big time. I bigger suck would be bombs blowing up at our shopping malls. Part of the life we take for granted, such as carefree shopping at some of the most ridiculous teen mall stores ever envisioned, is due in large part to an over bearing security apparatus and mission. The undocumented immigrants dying to get and stay in the U.S. will gladly allow the collection of their text messages as long as they can get and keep a job working in the fields. And we want those undocumented immigrants to work in our farms fields because Americans are too lazy to do the work themselves.

Spend a day in the safety of the farm fields Snowden

Ed Snowden is a spoiled, privileged, brain washed, “wannabe” martyr, who has little concept of what it means to scratch out a living either in the U.S. or Russia. Snowden’s asylum might just be the “wake up call” or “boot camp of life” this computer hacker needs. Perhaps he’ll get to experience what a real repressive society looks and feels like. I recommend Snowden be allowed to return to the U.S. and his penalty should be working in the farm fields of California’s San Joaquin Valley in order to experience the life of a real undocumented, and far more deserving, immigrant.

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