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Reciprocal Recommendations

Reciprocity for Recommendations

Social media makes it too easy to endorse people and products.

I admittedly suffer from guilt. I can never ask for anything until I feel that I will be seen as worthy in eyes of the grantor. This is not a great sales trait because I have to work twice as hard to earn the sale. Essentially, I have to sell myself first before I can ask for a perspective client to purchase my product.

There are lots of people who don’t suffer from this guilt malady. I admire those that can suppress or turn off the gene of human nature that dictates you build a relationship with your client first. Sales are so much easier when you feel you can drive on a one way street.

Social media and all the pre-packaged request and solicitations have really made asking for sales and recommendations without a relationship common place. I cringe when people talk of ‘e-mail blasts’, twitter schedules and Facebook events. To be fair, most of those are all pure marketing and can be ignored when they hit your inbox.

However, the electronic darts that are really sticking under my skin are requests for professional recommendations and posts to ‘Like’ to someone else’s fan page. The question is; “Where is the social media etiquette?” Don’t you have to earn my respect and trust? Has the world wide web completely obliterated any obligation on our part to establish our brand as worthy to be endorsed?

While I know that many of us are new to the social media landscape, and I have certainly committed my gaffes in the past, the novice status does not immunize you from common sense. Would you recommend a plumber to your brother just because the plumber follows you on twitter or liked your fan page? Of course you wouldn’t, I hope.

When you request my endorsement you have transcended the social media world and are now working on a personal level. I literally have received requests for recommendations from people I have never met! What could possibly compel them to ask for a recommendation from a total stranger? All the social media sites and apps make it all too easy to hit a button and flood all your friends and connections with requests. Sorry folks, recommendations are not the same as social media shot gun blasts of marketing.

I usually follow a few simple rules:

  1. I will enthusiastically give an endorsement if I have interacted with the company or person and felt I had great service or purchased a terrific product. Often times I endorse or recommend folks without any prompt. I give my recommendations free of any obligation for reciprocity. Then there are times when you can’t give a recommendation because the person fell short of your expectations.
  2. If I do want a recommendation from someone, I give a recommendation first, and then ask for reciprocity. It is not quid pro quo, but a formal declaration on each person’s behalf that they have first-hand knowledge of the other’s character and professional services.
  3. When I receive an unsolicited recommendation, I give serious time and attention to reciprocating with an honest endorsement of my own.

We should never give our endorsements out for the sake of boosting our visibility on-line or to curry favor with the recipient. Such hollow endorsements only serve to reduce the weight and importance of all endorsements. All the social media sites are great tools to learn about people, products and to market ourselves. But let us strive to keep our personal endorsements and requests grounded in the real world of honest personal relationships.

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