Submitted by an acquaintance who wanted to tell his story
It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I understood what foreskin was. As I was circumcised as an infant, I had little reason to dwell on something that I didn’t and wouldn’t have in my life. After I read a couple articles about what the foreskin was and its purpose in sex, the light bulb went on.
As far as I can remember, sex seemed like more work than it was worth. It’s always a wonderful feeling to make your partner happy but taking care of my own needs seemed more like waxing the car. I can appreciate those who say, “you didn’t have the right partner”, “the mood has to be right” or “you need more exploration”. After 3 decades of being sexually active I have figure out what is missing and it is the foreskin.
If it weren’t for all the circumcised men in the U.S., I am certain KY Jelly wouldn’t have a market. Lubricants replace what the foreskin was meant to do; create a rolling action to massage and excite the tip of the penis. Without a foreskin you need something to create the same sensation. Perhaps that is why some men who are circumcised enjoy oral sex so much.
The larger problem for men is that when sex doesn’t seem satisfying their minds wander. A wandering mind can lead to a wandering person. There is always the question of would sex be better with another partner. The problem isn’t necessarily the partner but the lack of a foreskin that diminishes the pleasure of sex.
Frankly, hot sweaty sex is more a function of the man having to work so hard to get excited enough to ejaculate rather than a hot passionate embrace. You hear stories of the woman day dreaming about tomorrow’s “to do” list as her husband works tirelessly just to reach orgasm.
Then to hear your partner is starting to hurt and get dry just because you can’t make the connection is a real bummer. At that point, it is just easier to masturbate because you know what you need to do to reach an orgasm.
As men get older their skin literary gets thinner. Sexual activity or masturbation when you are circumcised can easily create little abrasions and tears. When you have a boo-boo on your pee-pee your interest in sex takes a real nose dive.
I can also understand why so many circumcised men dislike wearing a condom. What little sensation there is from sexual intercourse is further diminish with this glove on your penis. Conversely, I can see why that may not be an issue for uncircumcised men because sensation and stimulation occurs with the foreskin, which is still intact under the condom. Stimulation isn’t dependent upon a lubed up vagina or oral sensation when the foreskin is present.
What percentage of our rapes, molestations, adulteries, and kinky sexual distractions is a consequence of circumcised men trying to find out “what works” or replace that “missing something”? To be brutally honest, I can see how it happens, even if I could never participate in such activities. I’m not trying to blame all the stupid sexual exploitation acts of men on their being circumcised. Men are men and when they are not happy or satisfied they can go searching for the answers.
My personality is such that I accept my broken equipment and go read a book or take a bike ride. Some men don’t give up so easily. Some men will try to fix the broken equipment buying every tool, reading every manual and take the part to numerous swap meets and events just to see if they can get it to work like they see in the movies. Life would have been so much easier if someone would have just told me that my stripped down version was never going to provide me with all the thrills of the super fast convertible. I could have saved myself and others a whole lot of time and misery.
If you are a parent that has circumcised their son, you are not bad or evil. When he gets older maybe you can clue him in on the differences and and let him know that it is not his fault. If you are a partner of a circumcised man and intimacy isn’t working well, at least explore the topic. Finally, if you are having a little boy, please don’t place the curse of circumcision on him. It is something he has to live with long after you are gone.